Stupid

Gerbil Vibe. I am not kidding

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Do you remember that old rumor about the Gerbil in Richard Gere’s ass? Well, apparently California Exotic Novelties thought Gerbilling was going to catch on or something ’cause they started making this vibrator that looks like a Gerbil years ago. I remember it from when I first opened Early to Bed and have talked about it many times over the years when speaking about crazy sex toy design. Who the hell wants a Gerbil in their butt (or snatch)? Why make a toy that looks like gerbil at all? When you put it on a flexible stick like this you are just inviting it to be shoved in an ass and I just cannot get the notion of what a real Gerbil would feel… I can’t even finish that sentence. ew.

Anyway, imagine my surprise and JOY when a few weeks ago I noticed that it was STILL in production! I knew I had to get one for my collection before they disappeared forever and people started to doubt my tale of the Gerbilling sex toy.

So here it is… the Gerbil Flex Stimulatorâ„¢ (note the trademark – don’t go making your own Gerbil vibe). Enjoy!

And if you want something a little less creepy to put in your butt… may I suggest you look here.

Interracial Pocket… “lover”

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After seeing Epiphora’s Post on the Interracial Double Dong I was immediately reminded of this gem sitting on the back of the shelf in my office. This Lexington Steele’s Cyberskin Interracial Stroker and I don’t even know what else to say about this but um, yeah. Crazy.

A Wizard for Your Snatch…

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Here is something for my fantasy-loving peeps! A long ago discontinued vibe from the folks who made the well-love and also-discontinued O’my lube, this here Wizard is just waiting for a trip up your whoo-ha.

Sure, I get that there are lots of folks out there who love a good role-playing games, witches, wizards and the like, but I really wonder how many people want a full-on old man with a pointy hat for a sex toy. Oh wait, I guess NOT MANY as this toy did not last long in production.

And I’d like to add that that nose isn’t going to do anyone’s clit any good and only serves to make this toy stupid in addition to being weird.