Most of my life is spent researching & selling high-quality, awesome sex toys at Early to Bed ,  but I often come across crazy shit that I just have to add to the Museum. Things that are just funny, look scary or are even so offensive they are just calling out for comment.
I hope you find this site fun & maybe even thought-provoking at times. I welcome your comments here or anytime at searah(at)early2bed.com.
And while I do mock these items, if you happen to find them hot or sexy, then I apologize. I mean no disrespect and am happy to acknowledge that sexual desires & turn-ons vary greatly. These comments are just the opinion of one feminist, queer, sex shop owner. Â And yes, if it is still in production I can probably get almost any of these items for you. Just ask. I promise I’ll be nice.
And hey, if after seeing this you want to go shopping for something that I think is great, use the code SCREWY at checkout for 10% off your order from early2bed.com!
xoxo,
searah
PS… you can find me & my shop all kinds of places:
FtM Essentials (our trans guy website)
Searah's Museum of Screwy Sex Toys 
April 25, 2012 at 5:25 am
I have alot of pictures of hilarious sex toys, I would love to share them. I have a love of messed up toys and have scoured the internet looking for pictures of them. Thats how I found your blog. I LOVE IT it’s incredably funny. I know that some of these things are serious to someone out there but I am just so amused by some of the items you post I find it hard to contemplate .
May 19, 2012 at 1:16 am
I love this blog. It’s kooky and I dig kooky! Going to add you to my links so you two can avail of the tsunami of visitors I get daily!!!
Keep posting.
May 20, 2012 at 12:41 pm
Thanks!! xoxoox
August 9, 2012 at 3:32 pm
[…] RSS About Me […]
November 16, 2012 at 6:30 am
I’ve seen many photos of glass sex toys through online search and it gives me the chills! I can never imagine myself using those glass made sex toys.
April 21, 2013 at 9:11 pm
I got this web site from my buddy who shared with me on the topic of this site and now this time I am browsing this site and reading
very informative articles or reviews here.
October 27, 2013 at 12:33 am
I tried using the SCREWY discount (I’m one nickel over my budget with the 10% discount, and it’s a prepaid card so I can’t just fudge it!) but it wouldn’t take. Do you have any other active discounts?
October 28, 2013 at 1:39 pm
So sorry about that! I just fixed it so you can use SCREWY at ealry2bedshop.com for 10% off!
Take care, Searah
Searah Deysach Owner *Early to Bed* *FtM Essentials*
New Mailing & Billing Address: *5044 N Clark Street Chicago, IL 60640* * *773-271-1219 Toll-free 866-585-2BED http://www.early2bed.com
*Shop Hours: *Mon-Tues: 12-7pm, Wed-Sat: 12-8pm, Sun:12-6pm * * *• Follow us on Twitter * *• Like us on Facebook * • Searah’s Museum of Screwy Sex Toys • FtM Essentials (an adult content-free site)
November 23, 2013 at 9:34 pm
I found vibrating boob thingys like a plastic bra and I want to share it with you where do I send it?
August 20, 2014 at 7:04 pm
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have a nice day!
June 20, 2016 at 11:13 am
Well f***k me with a feather, your collection of the finest seriously screwy sex toys I’ve ever had the pleasure of getting up close and personal with, had me laughing out loud I must say. Keep it up!
September 26, 2016 at 11:16 am
Hi Sarah, I just wanted to know if it’s okay to give you a shout out in my book in acknowledgements. I am a romance writer, and I am doing a book about toys and I found so many great suggestions on your blog! Thanks! My question is –should I say thanks Sarah from Early to Bed or would you prefer if it I put the website name? I am not including the name of my book because I’m not trying to promote, i just truly wanted to say thanks. Email me and I would love to give you details. Or let me know if you would prefer not to be mentioned. Thanks again!
September 26, 2016 at 12:58 pm
Wow.. of course! Anyway you want to say my name is great! THANKS!!! my email is searah@early2bed.com and i’d love to hear more about your book!
September 26, 2016 at 11:34 am
Sorry, I meant Searah! Ugh! I hate spelling people’s names wrong! Sorry again