Today in things I do not want in my vagina..
This penis sleeve:
In 14 years of selling sex toys to Vagina-havers I have not had one person ask for something spikey to stick in their snatch. I just …I.. I….
Angry Rabbit = Angry Searah.
I posted a picture of a cockring from this line before on twitter but had to make it an official entry into the museum ’cause well… I wanted to buy one. So I treated myself to a Rude Rabbit and while this is far from the worst sex toy ever it still rubs me the wrong way (which lets be honest, is not to hard to do).
First off, angry sex toys just seem wrong. Sex is fun! Brightly colored vibrating cockrings should feel happy to be there helping out! And really, assuming you are using this as intended* I think you might be implying that providing your partner pleasure is making you mad. So mad your eyes glow red (the eyes on this guy glow red when you turn it on making it seem particularly demonic)? Arrrg!!
And from a functional standpoint, the vibe is W-E-A-K and tiny. Blurg. Yes it is 100% silicone but overall I do not think it would be a very pleasurable toy and that fact alone makes me mad.
But then there are two good things about Rude Rabbit (and its friends). This has an ingenious way to test the batteries without taking it our of the packaging! As a sex shop owner who has had to test like a bajillion vibes over the past 11 years, I adore the idea that you can just stick your finger in a test the (pre-loaded) batteries without having to wrestle with god-awful plastic packaging. So this gets one point for the potential to make my life easier.
Also, as the last picture shows, this can stand up on its own which lends itself to so many picture-taking, art-making possibilities. Now I want the whole line so I can make Angry Cockring Comics! Like having Wicked Walrus and Mad Monkey have a three-way with Angry Rabbit while not so-Happy Hippo watches. Or something like like. If only I had the time…
That is said if you ever want a cockring that doesn’t work that great, looks MAD and has mean red glowing eyes, hit me up and I can get you one.
* A cisgendered man puts it on his penis to stimulate his cisgendered female partner’s clitoris during intercourse