Creepy

Here we go again…

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Yet another fine example of one of my pet peeves/obsessions…Women’s Bodies Squished or Compressed.. It is new and novel that they just stuck the Vulva in the middle of her torso where here stomach or spleen or something* should be.

And as indicated this is clearly molded DIRECTLY from Kendra Lust.. who somehow manages to still be alive despite having a vagina where her lungs* should be.

Sigh… if only all women were shaped like this…..

 


*Whatta I know about anatomy! I went to art school..

 

T and V

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Ah finally.. the only parts of women that actually matter in one convenient place.

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I am kind of obsessed with boobs and vulvas smashed together.

It is just so WRONG. Grotesque and yet somehow sexy to enough men to make the manufacturing of them worthwhile.

Personally I think this makes just about the same amount of sense:

eardick

You can read more about the boobvulva here. This website is full of amazing things to put your penis in. The even have scientific looking cutaway shots of the innards of their Love Dolls.

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Oh man I was almost done and then I found this awesome sleeve with MULTIPLE VULVAE on one blob!! So wrong.. so very wrong…

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Baggy dick

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Just WHY???

crazy penis with way too much skin
This item does not look like is it well at all….

 

 

Tireless Tongue, or how my day was brightened.

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Last week I was having a lousy morning. I can’t actually even remember now what was so lousy, but I do know that when I showed up at work and found this monstrosity on my desk I cheered right up.. you know much I love a bad sex toy!

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This is called the Tireless Tongue and boy is it a doozy. There is just so much wrong with the this. The packaging is so 1991. The horrible noise it makes is extremely upsetting. The color is pukey. And seriously I cannot fathom anyone enjoying this sensation*.Tongue

The smallest amount of pressure makes it grind to a halt. It is super ugly. And I hate it. Well actually, I love it but not anywhere near my body…

packging perspective 2014-10-13sm

 

*Yes yes, someone may love it and no shame in that, but the number of people who would find this pleasurable does not justify its existence.

Yes, I am a feminist killjoy

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PDRD184

“The deep oral canal is lined with tiny ribs that feel great when lubed up. Face fuck her as hard as you want and for as long as you like without her choking or gagging. When you’re ready to finish, blow your load inside her mouth and watch her swallow every drop!”

Because that is what women are made for…

Another Headless Lady…

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Some days I am just overwhelmed with how many headless lady fuckable toys there are out there. They even went as far as a neck here but just gave up at the head, I guess. Sigh.

 

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Also this is 27″ long so have fun stashing that under your bed…

 

Booty Glove

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According to the box it comes in The Booty Glove is “Possibly the best sex toy in the world!”. I’d love to know what world this is and why it is so bad that THIS is the best sex toy they can think of.

booty_glove_1

Now I am not saying it is the worst… but when it comes to ugly and weird, this is up there. A stretchy, thick glove that is meant to aid penis masturbation (or a hand job), this is not the first creepy glove to cross my desk but it has an added feature that just puts it over the top.. a tiny mouth. SO hard to photograph, but I think you can get the idea

mouth

 

What is that for you ask?  “When you are ready to finish, penetrate the lips and enjoy the most realistic pop shot imagined!”

Hmm.. I don’t think they even know what a pop shot is.