I wanted to like it…
I was rather upset to learn that recently that not only did I miss the whole establishment of the word Klittra to describe female masturbation (in Sweden) but apparently using an old roll-on deodorant container on your whatnots is and/or was a thing. Somewhere it is so much of a thing that a Swedish company started making a vibrating roll-on , called the Klittra, specifically for you to roll around on your outer bits. So naturally I had to send off to Sweden for one.
So I’d like to start by criticizing the lackluster packaging. It is just boring. A plain white cardboard box and mine had a piece of tape on it that was so old it was yellow and not sealed (in truth the vibe itself had a slight yellowing so I suspect that I got a real old one). But whatever, like most sex toys, it is what is inside the box that counts!
And what is inside is basically a roll-on applicator that is mostly hollow and has a vibrator integrated into the bottom half. It comes with some god-awful water-based lube made of mostly glycerin (my downtown is still burning from it) but you can use any lube you want, although Silicone and Oil would be way hard to clean out. This is made of ABS plastic so it is non-porous and easy to clean, but if you clean it every time you use it, which you should always do, you are going to be wasting a lot of lube! If you put enough lube inside to make it be rolly-slidey you will for sure have a bunch left over and ya gotta ditch that because you do not want to re-introduce your cooch bacteria back onto your body after it has festered in the Klittra for a while. So that is annoying.
You know what is even more annoying? You are not supposed to put this near HAIR because it can get caught in the rolling ball. And yes, it can.
Also, and this is the most crucial aspect of this toy, the vibrations SUCKED. They do not travel through the large and empty top half well at all. Maybe for folks who find the rolling of a ball over their labia, balls or whatever fun, the vibrations won’t matter, but in that case you don’t need a $65 doohickey in the first place! I was also thinking that if the ball was smaller, not size of real roll-on deodorant, that it could maneuver more around delicate parts creating more of a sensation. With the size this is, you don’t (I don’t) have much space to actually get the ball rolling.
So to sum up:
- My arm still hurts because I had use so much force to make this feel good
- My snatch still burns from the included lube
- I am dreading cleaning this and wasting all that lube I hate
- If you like a roll-on on your fancy parts, then maybe try the classic roll-on trick (see below)
- Or try a vibe with a round head and a lot of lube, I swear you it will not feel much different and your orgasm might require a lot less effort
This tip is taken from the always-reliable yahoo answers. Note please do NOT use “oil”, we suggest water-based lube so you can clean it:
Another thing, take an empty roll on deodorant & wash it out real good. Then (this works well while in the bath tub) you can put a dab of oil on the roller head & massage your clit with it. What feels best for me is a slow up & down motion, start around the vaginal opening & roll up to the hood of the clit, press harder & roll back down. Then try some slow lazy loops around it, like you’re drawing an 8. Pretty soon you’ll want to go faster & harder until you explode! I’m telling you this feels amazing, almost like you’re getting licked by someone!!
Dildo hanky in the pictures by New York Toy Collective
Also I’d like to add that their tag line is For every girl in the world and I can’t even with that… and it was a sad failure on Kickstarter. : (
… that this is just creepy (and/but also looks like a Tardigrade)
This is made by a vibrator company, so you think they’d intend this for your whatnots but my whatnots could not find anything fun about this and most of the folks who saw it said “EW WHAT IS THAT?!?!”.
It is not even good as a back massager unless you like your skin just kind of pulled around a little.
Yay for sex toys over $100 with no orgasms in site!
OMG THIS LOLLIPOP! The packaging is incredibly spot on! I was thrilled when it showed up because as much as I hate stupid sex toys, I do love sugar and everything that looks like sugar. And Tokyo Design hit it our of the park with this usable, adorable Macaroon so I had high hopes..
But sadly once you take the wrapper off it is just a big, poorly balanced, super buzzy, awkward to use vibe. It is battery operated and has a $60ish retail price so I just cannot in good conscious add this to Early to Bed’s collection. But I *can* keep it on my desk to remind me to get my daily sugar intake!
Look, it is almost as big as my head!!!!