So many years ago, CalExotics made a vibrating vag cam and of course I HAD to have one. While we had fun playing with it, we never used it as a vibe or put it inside anyone’s whatnot. We really just spent a lot of time putting it up in our eyeballs and watching our eyeballs on TV. But then one night we had a party and a fabulous Dominatrix who was there decided to take it for a spin. In the living room. At a party. With no warning. It was great/scary. But the camera was stupid. All you saw was grainy b&w wet looking skin and the vibrations were a joke (that said, I’m honored to have been privy to seeing the inside of Mistress’s snatch).
All that is to lead up to my rant about a new version of the same thing by a new company called Svakom. They foolishly claim it is “The world’s first internal camera vibrator” (note to everyone, do your research. Just because you did not know about something does not mean you invented it) and that “It shares the exclusive right of gynecologist with you”*, whatever the fuck that means.
Anyway, why I am bitching about this? Well because if this is anything like what the old one was like, it is a waste of $180. Think about it, if you are putting this in someone’s vagina (note it is not ass-safe) what are you going to see? Wet walls. Maybe the cervix. Ok I guess that can be exciting. Once or twice. But how many times do you want to watch this? Every time? I doubt it. So then you have paid a lot of money for a simple vibrator.
And lets say you are using it with your lover.. then you have to WATCH TV WHILE FUCKING. Sorry but that would just make me mad. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR LOVER.
In ranty conclusion, I’d stay clear of this unless you are really rich and like crazy stuff. In which case you should call me instead and I’ll sell you really awesome crazy toys instead.
*Watch this video for some great translations that make little sense.
**Ok fine, maybe this would be great for folks who really like to play Dr to add to their medical play chest. Except Dr’s don’t use vibrators on you anymore.
Why Eiffel Tower, why???
I saw this Eiffel Tower dildo and just had to have one. Who doesn’t want a dildo shaped like the most romantic monument in the world? Um no one. Or at least I don’t think anyone is going to want this one.
Yes, it is cute. And made of silicone and a reasonable $40 but guys… it is HOLLOW! And the base is ridiculous and unstable. The base in not comfortable in one’s hand and certainly can not be used to hold any weight. Ugh, this is the kind of toy that I sow wish would be great, but instead it is a pointless piece of plastic… that admittedly may look great on your mantel.
Oh also, here is what the company says about it:
“La Tour est Folle is 100% made in France, right down to its box. It is the crazy invention of artist, Sébastien Lecca, the sensual projection of a playful and provocative vision of a universally famous icon that never fails to stir the imagination. This fun toy is harness-compatible and can hold a small bullet.”
I would REALLY like to know what harness this is compatible with please! For the love of dildo, I wish people who are not sex toy sellers or makers consult those of use who are before launching this kind of crap.
Traditional Japanese Dildo
Here is one to make folks with vaginas feel a little ouchy. This a Traditional Japanese Dildo made out of “Genuine handcrafted Giant Elephant Ear “kokeshi” from the Higo province of Japan”. One is instructed soak it in water before use to soften it. But I’m wondering how soft it can possible get. And right now I am super grateful for modern materials and the fact that we get to have dildos made from silicone, glass and other not scratchy things.
On the other hand, I do always love to see how folks got freaky throughout the ages. Dildo history is important!