This is not Spider Man’s Penis

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Spidey Cock?


or is it?

This is Kyle

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and for just a few hundred dollars you can have sex with him and his CRAZY EYES!

He does have a legless/armless torso and a giant penis, but those eyes! I really find them disturbing.

Also I am totally not into the whole skin-hair look.

But maybe I am just being too judgy…

Ultraman!! Vibrator!!

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Don’t ya kinda wish you got this for Valentine’s Day?

From my personal collection … this rocket-style Ultraman vibe is at LEAST 10 years old and I think impossible to find these days (nah nah nah).

Kinda crappy as a sex toy so he lives among the pewter crackers and felted heads on my mantle, fated to live out his days wishing he could be used for some more erotic purpose…


Prince Willy Yum

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So as a general rule I think making sex toys of celebrities without their permission is actually kinda of shady. I totally get that Kim Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan and other celebs are putting themselves out there as people hungry for any fame they can get, but I do thinking that making money off of a fuckable likeness of someone without asking and without cutting them in on the profits is not so cool.

So when I saw this Prince Willy Yum I had a moment of “Should I or shouldn’t I?”. Then I realized that while it had a cartoonish representation of the future king of England on the box, the toy inside had NOTHING to do with an actual likeness of William (except that he probably has a penis) which somehow let me justify getting this for my collection. And yes, I do feel a little dirty for doing so, as I am 99% sure that the Prince of Wales did not approve this nor is he getting a cut of the dough.

But I must say, I kinda love this.  While it fails as a usable a dildo for many reasons (it smells super duper toxic, has no base for using with a harness…) it is pretty fricken funny and I adore the crown (a cockring perhaps?)! The box copy is predictably silly and full of crass jokes (“Enjoy the willie that prim & proper K.T. gets pounded with”..”Experience the shag of a lifetime from the little prince who’s all grown up and ready to rule the MOANarchy”) but as far as mementos from the upcoming nuptials go, this is gotta be one of the best.

So yes, Price Willy Yum has me feeling a little guilty, but I also envision that he’ll have very special place in my collection for many years to come (until at least it disintegrates in to a puddle of goo).

Circa April 2011