Adorable but dumb

I said no!

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While not offensive, racist or sexist, this ring-pop vibe still makes me mad. Mad enough to BUY ONE.

This silly toy has a single speed that is a joke and the material is listed on the package as “body safe” with absolutely no other information provided about the material. Most offensively, the ring part is so huge it flops around awkwardly on my larger-than-average hands meaning I cannot even wear this out as cheeky jewelry! *

“But it’s a fun party gift!” you say. Sure, but because it is such a viciously bad vibe, it is the kind of thing that will most likely never be used, wasting the plastic and creating just more garbage for the landfill, except you are not supposed to throw these away because they have teeny tiny motors so please break it down and recycle all the pieces, thanks.

Or maybe even worse, someone will try this as their first sex toy, find out how much it SUCKS and give up on sex toys forever, assuming that this is all there is. (I just made myself cry a little.)

With a retail cost of about $18, there are much better things you can get a bride-to-be, birthday gal or celebrating femme!

Heck for that kind of coin you cold give them a Miss Bliss,  three rolls of Bondage Tape or even a butt plug that says “Be Mine“.  Yes, these too will eventually be plastic in our landfill, but I least they will get their jollies off before they trash it!

*Ok fine,  this is really supposed to be a ring for a penis, where it will probably fit way more snuggly than my finger, but still… I’m mad.