Last a lifetime? I think not..

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The Last a Lifetime Love Ring is actually a crappy cockring in disguise.

Designed to look like an oversized engagement ring, this pink jelly doohickey* is suposed to be worn at the base of a cock to maintain an erection. So many things about this are just plain silly (but considering who it is made by, surprisingly inoffensive) that I am assuming this is one of those ridiculous “novelties” that is meant to given to a bachelorette, so everyone can laugh and then while out drunk in a bar it gets flicked across the room at some unsuspecting man and lost under a cosmo-soaked table forever.

Or maybe a classy guy is suposed to use it for a really classy marriage proposal:  “Hey Honey, I have a question to ask you”, drops pants, woman notices cheap plastic diamond-shaped ring on his cock and replies “OMGYES!!! You are so classy I want to Last a Lifetime with you!”

So maybe it is just a “fun” waste of petroleum and packaging and coal-produced energy, but as a sex toy slinger, I REALLY like it when toys work as intended so more than anything this just makes me mad with its lack of practicality. Sure, one could use this (and I am sure a dude or two have tried), but the jelly it is made of is so flimsy and stretchy that no ones ding dong is gonna “Last a Lifetime” with this. And to me, that is just old-fashioned false advertising.

*Full disclosure: I think this is kinda cute despite how much I hate its existence.

One thought on “Last a lifetime? I think not..

    Frankie said:
    August 12, 2012 at 3:01 pm

    If someone made a similar version in silicone or TPR I’d be all over it. Not that I have a penis of my own, I just find this pretty adorable.

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