I’ll be honest – I’m over Mustaches* but when this vibrating Mustache came along… you know I had to get one. Called the MustachiO, this is a vibrating silicone** strap-on ‘stash for a “great mustache ride!”. Ha ha I get it, it’s cute and funny and the will probably sell a buttload as gag gifts but it is a crappy sex toy! And here is why:
• It really easily clogs your nose so you can’t breath
• Having your upper lip/nose/top teeth vibrate can be really unpleasant!
• If you put even a tiny bit of pressure on it while wearing it, there is a sharp hard plastic thing that is pushing into your upper lip and it HURTS
• It is disposable!! And people, silicone does not degrade. Sure, you can keep it around as a fun costume after it stops working, but the packaging heralds it a “Disposable Fun!”, as if there was not enough crap in landfills already.
And probably no one who would buy this really cares all that much about my complaints, cause it is kinda funny, but people please, enough with disposable toys*** and mustaches already.
* That said, I DO appreciate a dapper mustache on real live person.
** It says Silicone on the package and may well be but it did start in fire when I flame-tested it.
***Full-disclosure, early2bedshop.com does sell one disposable vibrating cockring. I’m not perfect, I know.