The worst toy I tried in 2017*
I saw this vibe from Boom and was curious. It has a sqweel-like wheel and was pretty so I thought I’d give it a “whirl”… and OMG I REGRET IT SO MUCH.
Here is how the company describes it:
“The extra (separately) rotating and turning wheel on Cyclone is for intense pinpoint stimulation while the vibrating shaft provides curved G-Spot pleasure.”
Here is how I would describe it:
“Check it it out! This vibrator has a separate unique labia torture wheel, guaranteed to make you feel like some sort of wild animal thinks you are dinner. Just lay back and let the feeling of having your bits being sucked into a turbine wash over you before you start crying from the pain”
Seriously, it was the most painful toy I have ever tried. The wheel grabbed onto my skin and tried to gobble it up. And like a fool I tried it three more times at different angles all with the same results, horrible pain.
If you see this toy.. RUN FOR THE HILLS!
(* yeah, I know it is only January but nothing can top this)
Searah's Museum of Screwy Sex Toys 
March 8, 2017 at 3:36 pm
Too bad, it kind looked interested for a second. The worst one I ever tried was Snugglepuss. I should of know it by just look at it.
September 22, 2017 at 10:28 pm
This vibrator looks like the mouth of a Helicoprion, the prehistoric shark species with a ridiculous spiral-shaped whorl of teeth on its lower jaw.
I do not want a prehistoric spiral shark mouth near my bits, no thanks.