Your tongue is where?

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Why yes, that is a tongue coming out from under the vagina. What? That is not where your tongue is located?

I am sure I have mentioned this before, but my favorite kind of screwy sex toy squishes body parts together in weird ways like this – and this is a doozy! 1 On the Cock & 1 On the Balls* is designed to.. well let’s hear it from the maker’s mouth:

Every man dreams of fucking two hot broads… and now you can enjoy 1 On The Cock, 1 On The Balls too with this incredible threesome simulator! Made from super-soft Fanta Flesh, this plush pussy masturbator has a tongue located right beneath a set of pretty pink pussy lips, allowing one girl to lick your balls while you fuck the other’s wet snatch.

Classy, eh? This company will be supplying me with blog fodder for YEARS to come I am sure. They are really into terrible copy and freaky deaky toys!

So yeah, what else can I say except that I would love to know how it really feels and if it didn’t retail for $160 or I was rich I’d enlist a guy with threesome experience to test it for me. Cause really, I am just trying to imagine how that would all work in real life…

*Yes, that is the real name of this toy. And I feel like I have to disclose that unlike most things in this Museum, I do not possess this (but maybe someone will get it for me for Christmas!).

(psst.. want something that isn’t so creepy for your solo pleasure? Look here)

2 thoughts on “Your tongue is where?

    bzzingbee said:
    July 7, 2011 at 6:42 pm

    OMG!!! That is just…wow. That tongue is really distracting when I look at it!

    Geoffrey Cubbage said:
    July 7, 2011 at 8:19 pm

    I’m looking at it. I’m thinking about it. I’m thinking it’s not going to be a very accurate recreation of the experience without a tape cassette playing hysterical laughter and/or grunts of discomfort as someone plants an elbow in someone else’s stomach. But throw that in and it might just be like…that situation they described. Which apparently dwells more heavily on some minds than others.

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