The Biggest Vibrator on EARTH!
OMG look at how big this is! Bigger than a Mini Cooper!
Gotcha! That is just a toy Mini.
But this is a big-ass mutherfucking vibrator. Hopefully the cocktail gives you a little bit more realistic perspective (Old Fashioned made with bourbon, of course).
It clocks in at 12″ long and about 3.25″ diameter (that is a full 11″ around). It runs on EIGHT C batteries and has just one fucking speed. I’m not sure if it was made as a joke or what, but not only is it a bit unwieldy, but also really hard to store so I am a little surprised it is stil on the market (yes! I can get you one for only $80. Email me!). It makes me think of a vibrator that that prop comic might pull out during some vaguely misogynistic joke.
But all that mocking aside, it does provide a type of vibration that is unique to its MASSIVE size and I’ll cop to taking it for a spin once or twice, but it is hard to fit into the sink to clean, so mostly it watches over us as we sleep. Like a good sex fairy or something…
Searah's Museum of Screwy Sex Toys 
May 2, 2012 at 9:34 pm
My goodness.. That thing must weigh quite a bit..
May 7, 2012 at 11:01 am
I’ve seen this toy before. It’s clearly meant for when you want to roleplay the famous ‘riding the bomb’ scene in Doctor Strangelove.
May 16, 2012 at 10:10 pm
Ha! I love THAT idea!
May 26, 2012 at 3:38 pm
I don’t know if i need to be scared of that thing or consider it the greatest thing I’ve ever seen. Either way, it shows the broader side of assortment that this industry offers. Thanks.