Ora

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ve726-tongue-joy

Ok, can we chat about mouth vibes for a second? You know, the kind they make for oral sex? I’ll start off by saying that I hate them. The first time I tried one, I hated it. Every other time I tried one, I hated it. And believe me, I like to give things more than once chance, esp. when they are as attractive to folks as this style of vibe appears to be. But I find these just get in the way of tasting your lover, of connecting your body to your lover and in some cases, making your lover feel good (ever get a tiny vibe hooked under the hood of your clitoris? NOT GOOD PEOPLE). They even make YOU feel un-good: tight rubber band around your tongue- Not fun. Vibrations against your teeth-  NOT fun. I could go on… but I won’t.*

Instead I’ll pose the question I have asked myself a few times this last week, “If you know you hate this whole genre of vibes, then why in the hell did you buy another oral sex vibe?!?”

Because I did. I shelled out real money for the newest one to hit the market, the Ora (which by the way is also the name of a toy by Lelo and the Sushi place across the street from the shop) byXR Brands. This one is slightly different from the others in that it does not attached to your tongue (thank dog!) but attaches to your cheek (WTF?). It is silicone (yay!) and rechargeable (no watch batteries! No cords dripping from your mouth!) and there is where the good things end.

IMG_2470

Because I cannot for the life of me figure out how this can be fun. I see it as a $45 marketing ploy.. get folks to buy it, who cares if it doesn’t work, they can’t return it! The vibe sits against your cheek, so if you are performing cunnilingus (box says you can!) no one but you is gonna really feel anything. Fellatio? Sure this might give a willie a buzz, but unless your head is cocked (haha) at a 90º angle, I’m pretty sure that vibration on one side of your dick is going to be rather uneventful. Plus again, as the wearer, it feels weird and electric toothbrush-y in your mouth.

So in conclusion, I hate this vibrator and think it is really stupid and the people who made it think you** are stupid enough to buy it.

The. End.

*Full disclosure, I have never tried any of these on a penis. Maybe they are great on a Penis! Who cares though I still hate them in my mouth.

** I mean not like YOU you, just people in general.

 

5 thoughts on “Ora

    Rayne Millaray said:
    May 6, 2015 at 9:57 am

    I’ve never tried the Ora, but the tongue ring vibes suck. They chatter off your teeth (which can cause chipping), and weigh your tongue down, and there’s not even any room in my mouth for a cock because they’re so huge, so I ended up just licking M’s cock while I was wearing them. The ones that are held on your tongue with a rubber band(?) are even worse because they don’t stay in place. HORRIBLE.

    sweetwomandirtymind said:
    May 9, 2015 at 9:45 pm

    I’ve never tried one of these – thank goodness! I’ve given vibrating blow jobs by licking & sucking the head & upper shaft while holding a powerful vibrator against my other hand wrapped around the base. (My husband finds a vibrator held directly against his cock to be overwhelming.)

    InquisitiveClam said:
    May 15, 2015 at 4:41 pm

    The toy that the link takes you to and the toy in the photo are two different toys. The link shows the Ora. I’m not certain what the toy in the picture is. Maybe the Ida? The Ida is marketed for couples to use like a wearable We-Vibe-ish toy with the silicone arm inside the vagina. I believe the internal arm rotates and vibrates while the external arm vibrates against the clitoris.

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