Masque is a $4 dissolving strip that is designed to “Completely mask the taste of seman”. And I have a few things to say about it-
1- They have this picture on their website (above) to show you how to use the product. I really hope it is tongue-in-cheek and not there because they think people are so stupid that they will not know how to open a package and put a thing in their mouth. (Although it could be worse and they had to add it because people were so confused)
2- One of the ingredients listed is “Natural Taste-Masking Agents”. Um, WTF is that and do I really want that in my mouth?
3- $12 for a three-pack? REALLY? To quote my friend Garnet Joyce “Amazing what some people will charge for an every day product repackaged as a sex product”. (that said, the makers go a long way to argue that is not like any other product out there)
4- I am sure there are women out there who love to give a blowjob but don’t love the taste of seman. But did you know you can give an awesome blowjob without drinking in all that seaman?
5- I just keep thinking how I’d feel if my partner were about to go down on me and busted out a product sayong, “hang on a second honey, I have to completely mask the flavor of you because you taste disgusting”.
I mean, I get it, I do. Not everyone loves tasting every part of their partner, and I know that flavored lubes and body products can be fun and make tasting things more pleasant. But completly eliminating taste completely seems like overkill to me. I like to think the whole point of sex is sensation in all its forms -not the elimination of sensation.
But then again, I am just one angry dyke feminist who will probably go the rest of her life without having to face this challenge…