Masque this.
Masque is a $4 dissolving strip that is designed to “Completely mask the taste of seman”. And I have a few things to say about it-
1- They have this picture on their website (above) to show you how to use the product. I really hope it is tongue-in-cheek and not there because they think people are so stupid that they will not know how to open a package and put a thing in their mouth. (Although it could be worse and they had to add it because people were so confused)
2- One of the ingredients listed is “Natural Taste-Masking Agents”. Um, WTF is that and do I really want that in my mouth?
3- $12 for a three-pack? REALLY? To quote my friend Garnet Joyce “Amazing what some people will charge for an every day product repackaged as a sex product”. (that said, the makers go a long way to argue that is not like any other product out there)
4- I am sure there are women out there who love to give a blowjob but don’t love the taste of seman. But did you know you can give an awesome blowjob without drinking in all that seaman?
5- I just keep thinking how I’d feel if my partner were about to go down on me and busted out a product sayong, “hang on a second honey, I have to completely mask the flavor of you because you taste disgusting”.
I mean, I get it, I do. Not everyone loves tasting every part of their partner, and I know that flavored lubes and body products can be fun and make tasting things more pleasant. But completly eliminating taste completely seems like overkill to me. I like to think the whole point of sex is sensation in all its forms -not the elimination of sensation.
But then again, I am just one angry dyke feminist who will probably go the rest of her life without having to face this challenge…
Searah's Museum of Screwy Sex Toys 
November 7, 2011 at 12:12 pm
Shush up. I’m about to release my “Cunnilingus Tasty Strips” to help mask the taste of vagina when going down on a women. Just ignore that sticker underneath mine that says “Listerine”, these ones are different and made just for cunnilingus.
November 7, 2011 at 1:23 pm
I was pointed to this post by one of our Twitter followers. I am the Chief Operating Officer of Masque.
This product came about because of a request from a friend who hated the taste of her husband’s semen and had essentially stopped having oral sex after trying many other solutions. Our national, third party research showed that over 60% of straight women did not enjoy the taste of their partner during climax. It showed that a large proportion of them would perform oral sex more if they had a product like Masque. Our customers have stated that’s actually the case once Masque came into their lives. We understand that the product isn’t for everyone. Some don’t need it and some won’t want it. However, we believe that we’re fostering intimacy by helping couples overcome one of the potential hurdles to a satisfying sex life.
Masque isn’t like anything else out there. We didn’t repackage a Listerine Strip. This is shown by our Patents Pending in dozens of countries worldwide. This product was in research and development for several years and has been through innumerable phases of taste and ‘use’ tests. Taste masking has been around for decades. The ingredients used in Masque Sexual Flavors have been used in numerous foods, drinks and medicines for years. We’ve taken great care to take every safety precaution, no matter how small the risk. We could have manufactured components of the product outside the United States while saving a large proportion of the cost. However, everything is manufactured within our borders and the strips themselves are produced and packaged in an FDA overseen food grade laboratory. We used NATURAL taste masking agents because we had that choice.
For what it’s worth, the product works for use on women. In fact, many women attending the Orlando Gay Days celebration that we sponsored this year tried – and loved – them. They have a mint undertone which provides an “amazing tingle” (their words).
If any readers are interested in trying a sample, feel free to drop me an e-mail on the website. Thank you and have a great day.
November 7, 2011 at 1:26 pm
Oh, the visual aid….yes, there was some confusion as to usage of the product. There were a number of interested customers that thought the strip might go on the man’s penis.
November 9, 2011 at 5:25 pm
Thanks Michael for the explanation. It is always appreciated when the makers engage about their products.