How Did I Miss This Gem?!?!

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This is dye for your pussy. To make it pinker. As they say on their site, it is “to restore the youthful pink color back to your labia.”

Can I tell you all something? YOUR LABIA ARE GREAT JUST THE WAY THEY ARE!!

They are supposed to be that color and shape and size. No one needs pinker labia and certainly not with a product that does not even list the ingredients on its website.

If you don’t believe me about your labia, check out the gorgeous range of what pussies actually look like in the book I’ll Show You Mine. (link is NSFW… obviously)

And to the manufacture’s proclamation of “There is no other product like it,” I’d like to say thank goodness for that!

(I found this on the frisky in an article about what not to do to your “Vagina” even though I think they meant to say “vulva.”)

Come Hither

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Have I ever mentioned how much I love a ridiculous body parts? Well I do and this tiny hand is no exception.

I ordered this from China when I got my floppy fuckable Hand  and it is a suposed to perhaps be a g-spot stimulator seeing as how the hand gesture it is making is the universal Come Hither motion that we we teach folks to use inside the vagina to help find the G-spot*. It is a vibrator, naturally and way too fucking small to reach anyone’s G-spot. And as a vibe, it performs pretty miserably as well. The soft and tiny fingers do nothing for one’s bits.

So on my shelf it its sits, along with the rest of the Island of Misfit Stupid Body Part Toys.

*Want more info on the G-spot? Click here.

Yes pregnant women are sexy but…

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… something about My 1st Pregnant Latina Knocked Up Pussy just seems wrong.

Could it be that pussies aren’t actually the part that is “knocked up”?

Could it be the redundancy of “Pregnant” & “Knocked Up” both in the title?

Could it just be the whole package?

Well I’ll tell you what, when I get my hands on one we can discuss this further.

I love this F’able Hand

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Small details give me so much pleasure. Take this floppy fuckable hand for instance. Note how the slender bracelet and charming ring give it that “life-like” look. Why, this could pass for a real severed hand… until you flipped it over and saw the pretty pink vulva in the middle.

According to the package “100% Image is Lifelike” so you KNOW it looks like a human tiny hand with all the bones removed and a mini vulva where the stigmata should be. The fingers are super floppy, and the whole thing seems really hard to use.

Hard to use as sex toy perhaps, but stick it on the end of a wooden spoon and you have an awesome sea creature/monster to scare people with (which, of course, is what I did).

Pure 100% lifelike genius!

Ultraman!! Vibrator!!

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Don’t ya kinda wish you got this for Valentine’s Day?

From my personal collection … this rocket-style Ultraman vibe is at LEAST 10 years old and I think impossible to find these days (nah nah nah).

Kinda crappy as a sex toy so he lives among the pewter crackers and felted heads on my mantle, fated to live out his days wishing he could be used for some more erotic purpose…

HAPPY DAY AFTER VALENTINE’S DAY!!

I just can’t even think of what to say about this…

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… so I’ll just tell you the details:

• Those are suposed to be pierced nipples … on boobs

• With a vulva three times the size below it

• It is called FUKPUSSY

• The box has a picture of a mini vibe on it “powerful bullet vibrator!” but no vibe in the box.

• “Juicy Vibrating Orgasms”

• It is marked on the bottom as “Flesh” colored.

So much to love/hate!

This was SO good I wanted to cry

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Does it get any better then a fuckable butt with a rose coming out of it? Really, I am pretty sure it does not.

UPDATE!

as pointed out below by a smart reader this is actually representing a prolapsed anus which makes it WAAAAAY different in my eyes. And more icky. : (

I liked it when it was just a flower…